Week 2 - Differences

The part of this program that is the most different from UF is the clinical aspect! My work at UF is computational, and while I love the technicality of it, clinical work is allowing me to sit and talk face to face to the patients I am working to help. The process of reading patient files, sitting down to talk to them during admission, and following their growth through days or weeks of pharmacotherapy is truly opening my mind up to the reality of psychiatry. As dry lab researchers it is easy to forget that people don't behave like computer simulations. They are messy and complicated and imperfect and that's what makes them human. These people are not just case numbers with chemical imbalances, they are mothers, sons, husbands, roommates, teachers, and more. And they come to us in a state worse than some more fortunate people will experience in a whole lifetime. I assumed seeing people in this state would be too emotionally heavy for me to handle, but instead it lights a fire in you to do everything you can to help them. They aren't here for you to feel bad for them, they're here because they believe you have the solutions, and as a caregiver you want to do everything in your power to make that true. This human aspect is something I never experienced at UF through reading clinical studies and modeling drugs. This new dimension has helped me realize how important it is that I show up to work with positivity and focus every day, because it really does matter to these people.